Thank you

When I feel sad, when I’m alone, when no one is around, when I cannot tell anyone else, I talked to Him. I complained to Him. I cried in front of Him. I asked Him how bad am I. I could not bear to hear from others how a jerk am I. But I asked Him. I beg for His helps. I seek for Him desperately for help. Then, I decided to stop crying. I wanted to act tough and never tell others. I wanted to keep the relationship. It’s ok even if I’m hurt. As long as we remain friends. I thought I could pull off my plan. I thought I will handle it well for the rest of my life. I thought I will not cry again reminiscing the incident. I thought I have gathered my strength and will absolutely pass this obstacle. I really thought so. But, He knows me better. Maybe He knows that I will cry each time looking at them. Maybe He knows that I cannot concentrate on other things after this. And maybe He knows that I am not that strong. I need love around me. I need to feel needed. I need friends. He knows what I need and gave me that. He sends angels to comfort me. He gives me a chance to let all the feelings trapped out. He knows that is what I needed the most and it is true. I kept nothing inside anymore. All the sadness are gone. Knowing that they really are my friends and love me too. My gloominess are gone. I am happy again. Yes, He helped me. He do all this. He set this up. He has His own way to make me feel His nikmat. He really shows His attention towards me. And I? What did I do? What did I do when I am happy? Why don’t I turn to Him every single second and thanked Him. Why don’t I? Why must I look for Him only during my sorrow. Why not every second? He is always there. Waiting for me. And I?